HetaliaBook!  You're doing it wrong
by FoulsanityInstalledAwfully
Summary: Alien invasion from space. Astronauts. Firefighters. And a Facebook Parody. Let's do this. THIS. IS. CRACK. Possible disturbing images and bad words  :3


As stated before, This. Is. Pure. Crack. Huge thanks to Miggery! For helping me write this c: Go check out Miggery. srsly. She's awesome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>Welcome to Facebook!<p>

What's on your mind?

**Alfred F. Jones** has checked into **The Moon**  
><em>45 minutes ago ·<em>_ Like _· Comment__

**Alfred F. Jones** Uh, Guys? This might sound a little weird... but do any of you know how to remove an anal probe? It fucking burns :(  
><em>5 minutes ago <em>_·__ Comment __· **You, ****Francis Bone-for-you, Gilbert Beilschmidt****, **__and **2 **__**others **__like this_

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **I'll be there in 10 minutes with my fire hose.  
><em>2 minutes ago <em>_· **You **__and **4 **__**others **__like this_

**Alfred F. Jones** Shit.. Why do you guys keep liking this! ?  
><em>2 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Francis Bone-for-you** Ohonhonhon!~ Who's invaded your vital regions this time Afred? I bet it was Ivan... (:  
><em><em>2 minutes ago <em>_· **18 people **like this.__

**Alfred F. Jones** FUCK YOU FRANCIS__  
>about a minute ago <em>· Like<em>  
><em>  
><em>**Francis Bone-for-you** I bet he did it with a broken vodka bottle (; Kinky!  
>about a minute ago <em>· Like<em>

**Ivan Braginsky** Kolkol... ^J^_  
>about a minute ago <em>· Like<em>_

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><p><strong>Elizaveta Hedervrry<strong> I'm writing the best yaoi fanfic EVER!  
><em>17 minutes ago ·<em>_ _Comment __· **You** and **Kiku Honda **like this.____

**Kiku Honda **May I ask what it is about?  
><em>13 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Elizaveta Hedervrry** It's a kinky scat fic! ;D  
><em>11 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ What is scat? :3  
><em>5 minutes ago <em>_· **Unlike** _· **two others **like this.__

**Elizaveta Hedervrry **Um... go ask your brother xD  
><em>2 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Feliciano Vargas** Ok! :3  
>about a minute ago <em>· <strong>Unlike<strong> _·  
><em>_

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><p><strong>Feliciano Vargas - Romano<strong> Vargas <strong>**Ve~ Romano? What is scat and why is it kinky?  
><em>Yesterday at 9:52 PM<em> ·_ Like _· Comment__

**Romano Vargas**__ ...  
><em>Yesterday at 10:02 PM<em> ·_ Like _  
><em>_**  
>Feliciano Vargas<strong> :3  
><em>Yesterday at 10:02 PM<em> ·_ Like _  
><strong><br>**

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><p><strong><strong>Feliciano Vargas<strong>** VE~ ROMANO DUNKED ME IN HOLY WATER AGAIN! ! ! D':  
><em>59 minutes ago <em>_·__ Comment __· __**Alfred F. Jones **__and **Gilbert Beilschmidt **__like this_

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Why would he do such a thing?  
><em>34 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Feliciano Vargas **i asked him what scat was and he threw me in the water!111!1 Ve~ I still don't know what scat is! ! D':  
><em>29 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Kiku Honda** This conversation makes me very uncomfortable.  
><em>15 minutes ago <em>_· Like _· **1 person** likes this  
><em>_

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><p><strong>Gilbert Beilschmidt <strong>Look up from your screen and pretend to be the first thing you see. I am a totally awesome lamp *-*  
>34 minutes ago ·<em> Like <em>· Comment<em>_

**Peter Kirkland** i'm a banana*-*  
><em>28 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Feliks Łukasiewicz **I'm like, a vaccum *-*  
><em>25 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Francis Bone-for-you** I am a dildo. Ohohohon~  
><em>25 minutes ago <em>_· Like_

**Matthew Williams** I'm a moose *-* And ew Francis! Tmi.  
><em>23 minutes ago<em> _· Like_

**Ivan Braginsky** I am a... snow ^J^ Kolkolkol.  
><em>23 minutes ago<em> _· Like_

**Feliciano Vargas **I'm pastaaaa~ :3**  
><strong>_23 minutes ago_ _· Like_

**Alfred F. Jones** I'm an asshole. *-*  
><em><em>23 minutes ago<em> _· Like__

**Ivan Braginsky **Indeed. ^J^  
><em><em><em><em>22 minutes ago<em> _· Like____

**Alfred F. Jones** STFU RUSSIA D: Gil said to pretend to be what you're looking at so that's what I'm doing!  
><em><em><em><em>20 minutes ago<em> _· Like____

**Feliciano Vargas **lol. What r u looking at America? :3  
><em><em><em><em>20 minutes ago<em> _· Like____

**Alfred F. Jones** Arthur.  
><em><em><em><em>19 minutes ago<em> _· Like  
><em>___

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><p><strong>Peter Kirkland<strong> OMG There's a creepy white van in the front of my house Dx WHAT SHOULD I DO?  
><em>19 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like _· Comment__

**Francis Bone-for-you **Ohohohon~ Relax, Peter. It is just papa France coming for a visit c:  
><em><em><em><em>18 minutes ago<em> _· Like  
><em>___  
><strong>Arthur Kirkland<strong> I swear if you lay a hand on him, you bloody frog, I will personally castrate you.  
><em><em><em><em>18 minutes ago<em> _· Like____

**Francis Bone-for-you** I promice, Angleterre. He is in good hands (;  
><em><em><em><em>18 minutes ago<em> _· Like____

**Peter Kirkland**____ :(  
><em><em><em><em>16 minutes ago<em> _· Like  
><em>_______

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><p><strong>Francis Bone-for-you<strong> Does anyone know how to pick a lock?  
><em>45 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like _· Comment__

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Lol. Yea. Why?  
><em>39 minutes ago<em> ·_Like_

**Francis Bone-for-you** Because I may have accidently locked Peter in my basement... and lost the key  
><em>39 minutes ago<em> ·_Like_

**Arthur Kirkland** WHAT! ?  
><em>28 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like  
><em>  
><strong>Alfred F. Jones<strong> TROLOLOLOL. HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE!  
><em>27 minutes ago<em> · _**You** and **17 others** like this._

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><p><strong>Feliks Łukasiewicz - Toris Lorinaitis <strong>:) Hey :) I was told that if someone uses a lot of :) faces when they text you, :) it means they totally want your babies... :) Is that true? (^_^)  
><em>45 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like _· Comment__

**Toris Lorinaitis **(￣▽￣) ！(◎_◎;)Σ(￣。￣ﾉ)ﾉ ＼(^o^)／ （;￣O￣） (⌒▽⌒) (ﾟOﾟ)＼(- -; (･_･;( ^_^)/~~~ Σ（・□・；）（；゜０゜）(´･_･`). . . That's ridiculous.  
><em>27 minutes ago<em> · _**You** and **3** **others** like this.  
><em>

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><p><strong>Romano Vargas <strong>Rape you? I wouldn't even FLICK you ~ God DAMN IT I love you... bitch!  
><em>12 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like _· Comment__

**Matthew Williams **Hey... Are you by any chance bipolar?  
><em>10 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like · **1 person** likes this.  
><em>  
><strong>Romano Vargas<strong> No... Why do you ask, maple-bastard?  
><em>10 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like _

**Matthew Williams** Just... wondering... Hahah...  
><em>7 minutes ago<em> ·_ Like  
><em>

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><p>Pffft. If I had more time to write this, it'd be funnier. Once again, Thank you Miggery! :3 Check out her fanfiction, because she's awesome. I never thought I'd be able to write with my favorite author. Even for a short period of time! :3 Thank you for reading~ BLUBLUBLUB.<p> 


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